once upon a time
a young girl
gave herself
to a labour of love,
a labour
characterised by struggle,
the eternal struggle
between darkness
and light,
the struggle that light
and truth
wholeness
and beauty
were destined
eventually
to win

the battle
between exquisite peace
and sword piercing pain
that began to reveal its destiny
through the young girl’s
labour

quietly
secretly
imperceptibly
Light
was coming,
on its way
across time and space,
to make itself known

and it made its first appearance
with a sign
the shimmering ethereal
radiance
of an angel
bright
clear
unmistakable
softly entering
into an ordinary day

an angel who said
will you lend
your love
that God might birth
a greater Love
through you

and Mary said
yes

tell God

I say yes

I want to meet
with Him,
this Christmas.

I want to engage
with that baby who was God,
connect
with the God
who came as child.

I want to experience him,
be loved by him,
and welcome him this Christmas.

I want to encounter
the new-born Christ
with every ounce of my emotions
every portion of my soul.

I want to anticipate nothing
and expect
more than I can possibly
imagine.

I really
want to meet with that baby
in a radically new way
this Christmas.

I’ll start

by kneeling …

risking it all
on the ‘yes’
of a Jewish teenager,
staking his plans
on the equally difficult ‘yes’
of a carpenter
disgraced,
breaking
social conventions

he came
with forgiving love

choosing to enter history
in the midst of political turmoil,
risking the dangerous anger
of a king
crazy for power

he came
as a helpless baby

conceiving himself
in the womb of a girl,
risking a difficult birth
in the dirt
of an animal stall

he came
with complete humility

seeking the costliest gift
he could bring
he offered us
simply
himself

entering human life
in all of its raw
and complex messiness

he came

because he cared

unlike any other
and yet
so much
like every other
newborn babe

the visible image
of the invisible God
suckled at the breast

drew his nourishment
from the one
whom he’d chosen
to mother him

utterly transcendent
wholly dependent
thoroughly human
completely divine

God
suckled at the breast

and Mary
once more
gave her body in love
and pondered
the mystery

He challenges me
this baby:
I cannot kneel by his manger
and not
be changed,
I cannot gaze into those beautiful eyes
and stay the same,
I cannot hold him close
and fail to be aware
that his purpose in coming
is for him
to hold me,

I cannot welcome this new life
without acknowledging
that this baby
invites me
to radically new ways of being;

I simply cannot find the words
to express
how the coming of this child
challenges me
to change.

A Saviour is born
and life
will never be the same again.

He challenges me
this baby.

held in the Father’s arms
I am safe

soaked in the Father’s love
peace
permeates my tiredness

he knows

he knows everything about me
within
and without

he will restore me

all will be well

deeper

deeper into my love
that’s where I want to take you

closer
closer to my heart
that’s where I long
to draw you

washed
washed in my blood
that’s how much I forgive you

healed
fully healed
that’s how I want to bless you

filled
filled with my Spirit
that’s how I
want to see you

the question is

will you let me do this
for you

I stand in awe
of answered prayer
stand in complete humility
before God’s Yes

the definitive Yes
the radical Yes
the active, dynamic, creative Yes
the Yes that brings miracles
into being
before my very eyes

the Yes of God
that gives new strength
to crippled bones
restores sight to the sightless
shrinks tumours amazingly
into oblivion
regenerates organs lost to disease
reverses the death march of AIDS
and heals, and heals
and heals
today

miracle maker
creative healer
abundantly, wonderfully
gracious God
I stand in awe
of your Yes

whispers from within

prompt me

to stop
take space
to pause

give myself permission
to grow still

breathe in
his presence
drink in
his peace

centre myself
once more

in him

Psalm 32

God
holds nothing
absolutely nothing
against you

the slate’s
wiped perfectly clean

from the moment
the confession
begins to pour from your lips
you are free

it is forgiven
total
complete
instantaneous

let it go

make a new start

the slate
is clean